One year ago today I ran my very first 1/2 marathon. Today marked the 6th half marathon of my running life...4th run this year, and I feel great. It might have a little something to do with acheiving a new personal best, but I think it's because as much as I love the afterglow from crossing that finish line I still hate running.
I can procrastinate with the best of them...trust me if I can find a reason not to run I will...and then I feel sick about it...so then I end up heading out _way_ later than I'd initially intended.
Running when you're "heavy"...okay lets be honest, FAT...is tough. You have to work twice as hard just to move forward and we constantly ask ourselves why we're bothering? If we're honest running is designed for the skinny people...ever try finding good quality, moisture wicking clothes that would fit someone other than a Barbie doll? Or how about the looks or comments that you get when you head out for a run or mention that you're running a 1/2 marathon this weekend?
The worst though? Is when the crowds go home and you're still out there. You come around the corner, not expecting to see a vast number of people, but to see that EVERYONE but your family has gone home...well let's just say it sucks.
Now don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm saying it's harder for us FAT people to run...okay maybe I am...mentally harder. You have to want it like nothing else you've wanted before. It's all about conquering yourself...and the demons that live inside you. Your try on clothes that don't fit, have finishing gates torn down before you finish, know that the food tent's going to be empty, you ingore the looks & taunts.
You accept shopping in the mens section and forgo souvenir tee's because maybe, just maybe, they might fit your left breast and that's about it.
All of these things can make you hate running but me? I hate...well I know what I don't hate...I love finding that zone where it all comes naturally, I love the feeling of crossing that finish line, I love the blisters, the aches & pains...but most of all? I love that look. The "you're running a half marathon???" incredulous look...the "wait you've run 6?" look.
Yup. Big ol' fattie me is a runner. I'm slow. I look sloppy because I have no choice but to buy mens gear. It takes me over 3 hours to run 21.1km. It doesn't make me any less of a runner, just a different type of one.
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